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How do I get custody of my daughter, when the mother already has custody & we never went to court?

The mother and I were together until my daughter was 6 months old and she moved back in with her parents. She hasn't worked at a job longer than a month in the last 3 years. I've been successful and paid for my ex fiance's living expenses while we were together so she didnt have to work. I supported her while she went to school after our daughter was born. I've documented from Dec. to March how much more I've had my daughter than her. The mom didnt even want to be with her on mothers day. I have my daughter more than the mom, live on my own, she lives with her parents and cant keep a job, and I pay her child support to go out to the bars and drink aparantly. My daughter is my life and I'm scared that if I can't get full custody I may lose her. I don't have much money to afford a lawyer but I have plenty of people to verify that I am the more suiteable and loving parent. Only problem is, is that I'm the father and that makes it harder for me to win.....I'm desperate for advise...... I live in wisconsin, my daughter is just turning 1 yr old.

Public Comments

1. you need to contact a lawyer, find out what you can do, sounds like your daughter would be better off living with you.
2. I am assuming that everything you have said is true. It will depend on what state you live in. I lived in California when my ex and I seperated and I didn't have to have an attorney at all. They had what was called the Family Law Support Center at the local court house. You couldn't make an apt, you just had to be there when they opened but, it was free legal advice on what to do, what forms to fill out, what the filing fees were, waivers for the filing fees if you couldn't afford them, ect. They also had all of the forms on the computer so that you could fill them all out there and take them across the hallway and file them. In order to get custody of your child, you are going to have to go to court, period. But, you may not have to get an attorney. Just depends on what they offer at your local court house. You can usually go to a website and get the info. In my experience, when I have had to call (and have had no idea what to do, where to go, or even who to talk to get answers to my questions) the folks at the Family Law office or the Calander Clerks office are more than willing to help point you in the right direction. Being the father should no longer be a stumbling block to you getting custody of your child. These days, it's all about who is the better parent. If you have documentation of visitation, child support, ect, you should have no problem getting your child as long as you are the better parent. Good luck. I know first hand just how scary and emotional fighting for custody can be and my ex is an excellent father so I've never had to worry about my child being in danger. God bless you.
3. There are men's groups that specialize in these matters. they might have you pay a nominal fee or even do it for nothing. Look it up and do it fast. They will tell you what you will need to do outside the Court to get them to see that you are going to be a good custodial parent.You will have to get some help. Start keeping notes about her lifestyle etc... This Mother's Day thing will not make her look good. Good luck!
4. Oh, please, please, don't yank that child around. If her grandparents are providing a stable environment and your daughter is not at risk, please, please, leave her there. Stability is much more important to her well being and emotional development than whether or not her mother might socialize more than you approve of. It is normal and human for us to exaggerate the faults of others so we can justify our own actions. I'm sure you believe what you say about the child's mother, but it may not be an accurate assessment. Don't allow your rancor to destroy your child's life. What's best for any child is to think well of both parents. A custody battle would destroy any good feelings she has about both herself and her parents, and would force her to choose sides. Please don't do that to her. If your child really is your life, then do whatever will help her to grow up to be the best, most successful and confident person she can be. Do what is really best for her, not what will only make you feel good.
5. Contact a father's rights attorney and see what steps you can take.
6. Wow ok....My ex and I have a son together and well he has alot of money and I dont. Once I left my son with him for the weekend and when I came back for him he wouldnt give me my son back, so I called the police and wow the police said that he couldnt do anything because we are both the parents and I needed to go to court if I wanted him back. If you never went to court, then you have the right to have your child, until she goes to court and fights it. I dont know where you are but im in Los angeles and I couldnt afford a lawyer so I settled for just a paralegal to do my papers and I took so much evidence that the child was better with me. So have pictures of everything and receipts and as much as you can. I wish you the best of luck!! I know it hurts so much and its hard. Hope things work out for you.
7. dear friend, really surprising to hear of such a mom, anyways, i wish you luck in obtaining full and final custody of your dear child. i am a mom myself of a 3+ child and hence can fully well understand what u must be going through. Hiring a lawyer for minor legal problems can be expensive, but there are websites like LawGuru, FindLaw and other places where you can get free legal advice. I found this website useful - http://www.uelp.org/freelegal.html