Success Happy - Is it possible to stay happy in a marriage?

Is it possible to stay happy in a marriage?

I am divorced and I am in a new relationship and I am very happy, but I am just fearful that it could come to an end someday too. So many people get divorced these days and many people I know that are married, don't seem truly happy. So many of their marriages are based on materialism or they each have their own separate lives... I want so badly to be happily married forever. Is that impossible these days? What does it take and any suggestions on how to get over my fear of failure in my current relationship? Especially since it is going great.

Public Comments

hmmm it's a tough one
If its going great then just make sure you spend time together so you can keep "in touch"
For happiness in marriage, both man and woman need common sense, logic, observation and understanding.
yes, it is possible, but not easy. Everyone changes over time, and most divorces happen because people change differently. The key to staying happy is changing together, aging together, and working out your differences together.
nothing is impossible I do believe that the success to a long marriage is making sure that the lines of communication stay open and that you learn to grow together and not apart as so many do hence the divorce rate and not only that if you are newly divorced you will feel this way for awhile if you have learned anything is that life is just to uncertain to have all the answers just take this new realtionship one step to a time and it will work out the way you need it to
Live in the present don't worry about every one else's relationships. Stay true to your heart and self. Do not let others bring you down.
Quit waiting for the other shoe to drop or it will. Every marriage is different and relationships as a whole go thru phases of growth. Storms are a normal part of the growth period ; it's how those storms are weathered that determines the success of the relationship. Ever heard the saying "That which doesn't break you only makes you stronger." ? The same is true of marriages. I have been married a long time and there have been highs and lows to the relationship but ultimately I wouldn't change a thing. That's what has made us strong. I want to grow old one day and know that I have someone who shares the same memories that I do and who will love me because of the history we share. Life should be colorful and while it would be nice not to have any difficulties ever that would be unrealistic and dangerous to a relationship. The storms are what tests the bonds. Will you bend or break. Don't live in fear. Take it day by day. Hope and work for the best and you will attain it. But you have to be willing to do the work.
Of course it is! Make your marriage and your husband a priority, accept him and like him for exactly who he is and be strong and healthy on your own but kind and caring and loving towards him. Be honest and keep up on the things that seem to make him the happiest about why he married you (For my husband that is keeping the house clean and cooking most nights). Compromise and do things he likes to do (joyfully) at least part of the time. And make sure he treats you well and keeps up motivation to stick to his side of the bargain.
Unfortunately there are NO guarantees in any relationships. There are best case scenarios where people remain open, faithful, giving, unselfish, thoughtful, kind, intimate, generous, focused and happy for many many years. We see by the divorce rate that those instances are few and far between anymore. BUT that only means that happiness is an elusive thing. We find it and catch it and enjoy it when we can for as long as we can. I think it needs to also mean that we need to be basically HAPPY WITHIN ourselves and not expect or NEED someone else to make us happy. THen regardless of what happens we get back up and can be happy again because we are centered within US as happy, secure, independent, self sufficient people who take life's blows but remain happy, healthy and unmarred by relationship issues that only create baggage! I'm certainly one who believes in the old adage "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all." I believe this with all my heart!
I am not married, but definately, yes. The reason people are getting divorced these days is because they rush into marriage. They don't know their significant other's favorite food, tv show, or favorite past time. You also have to watch out for the sex feins. That never ends well. But, there are tons of men (yes, MEN!) who are looking for their true love as well. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 years now. Even thought we are not married (yet), we love eachother for all the right reasons. Work on your relationship habits. Try not to ever go to sleep angry. When in an argument, dont just walk away. Either work it out or pretend it never happened (if not serious). Try to keep the livliness going by buying unexpected gifts and flowers. Go out dinner. Share a bottle of wine. Go on frequent vacations. Snuggle in bed on sundays. As long as you keep working on it, you will be happy. Just make sure your new partner is looking for the same things you are.
It's impossible. ALL relationships start out great and then go downhill from there. Relationships suck and so does love. Male and females are just too different from each other. They can't see eye to eye or even understand each other.
I think that it is totally possible to have a long and happy marriage! I think, these days, everyone expects their marriages and relationships to fail, so of course, if you expect it, it's gonna happen! Just have faith in your love for each other and everything will be fine! Good luck to you and your beau! PLCG~
I've only been married about four months, but I can tell you it's not easy even in the early stages, which I'm sure you know. I think it's when you know, even when you're screaming at each other, that you'll forgive them later, that you have a good thing going. It just takes a lot of time to get used to a person, and even more time if you're recovering from past hurts. EXAMPLE: My husband was actually the "rebound" guy. I wasn't THAT serious when we started dating, but soon I realized that what I felt for him was the real deal. Then came the difficult part- getting used to him. Even now, we're still adjusting to each other. As long as you're willing to communicate, you can be happy.
Its possible to be happy in a marriage and stay happy. What do people gain by being married truly? If it wasn't to make it easier for insurance purposes and buying power what would be a good reason to even be married? All it is really is a couple of rings and a piece of paper. Why do you NEED to be married? Marriage does not bring guarenteed for life happiness.
What does it take? It takes making a decision to let the past go and that will take making a decision to forgive both the past man and yourself. It's all about decisions and not allowing the past to dictate your future. That happiness thing: Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. We cannot expect or hope for someone else to give us happiness or make us happy. I believe it's something two people can share with one another but not expect the other to produce. Happiness is something that an adult should already have manage to achieve before. That Tom Cruise line in "Jerry MacGuire" is bogus-- "You complete me." That's something a person should BRING to the table not expect someone esle to "complete" and that wholeness of a person should include being a happy person. That's WAY too much responsibility to put on someone else. Many may not agree but that's what I believe: If you can't be happy with yourself there's no one who can "make" you happy. And, yes, the next time could end too but do you want to live in fear or hopeful expectation? It's your choice. Blessings. ___ Add-on: Is it possible? Yes, but you have to take steps to try. (On this one, I should "talk" -- nearly seven years separated. For me it's a financial situation. I hope for those papers every day and one day... If he doesn't I pray that I am favored with the $$$ to file myself. I DO plan to live and love again and hopefully meet someone to share the rest of my life with. Life is good and should be shared with someone. x
Depends on your definition of "truly happy." Every relationship has rough spots, it doesn't mean they aren't happy with each other. It doesn't mean that the relationship isn't working. In my opinion, a happy marriage is a relationship where both people acknowledge each other's differences and accept each other for who they are. Doesn't mean they won't piss each other off, just means that they will not run away. That they will stay and work it out no matter what
Yes, but it takes hard work and excellent communication skills.
no
Of course it's possible! I have been in a happy marriage, married to an awesome man, for the past 18 years! I could not be an happier. I have had relationships in the past, that did not work out, but if you spend most of the time worrying about those old relationships not working out, and you let that interfere with your current relationship, then your current relationship, will in one way or another, not work out either. All of us, have been hurt in relationships at one time or another, but you just have to let those old relationships go and concentrate on your new relationship! Just because an old relationship did not work out, does not mean, that the current relationship you are in, won't! The past is the past and cannot be changed, so why dwell on it. Try concentrating on now! Just take it one day at a time, and let it happen. If you love this man and he loves you, and you are both loyal to each other,commited to each other, have good communication skills, trust each other, and support each other, your relationship will work out just fine! Don't worry, just be happy and enjoy each other!
YES it IS! Just take the advise of..Ogden Nash, (I think it was): To keep your life full of lovin', Fresh from the Lovin' Cup, When ever you're WRONG, ADMIT IT! When ever you're right, SHUT UP! Well, it's humorous, but there's a lot of good human relations and family relations there. (Oh, he also said, --and I'm sure this one is Ogden Nash: "Who cares about incompatibility in Marriage?... As long as he has the income, and she's "pattable!" Seriously,I would suggest talking to a partner to find out what their expectations in the relationship are. Also fear of failure VERY often INSURES failure. Act against you fears. And pray for God to supply the "glue"!