Success Happy

have u heard these proverbs for a "HEALTHIER" life?

* If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. * Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. * Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. * Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. * If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. * My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. * Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. * It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. * For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. * If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. * Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. * A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. * Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. * Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. * No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. * A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. * Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. * Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. * Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. * There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. * Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. * By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. * Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator. * Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. * Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Public Comments

1. lol they are great
2. These were quite clever. Well done!
3. oh my gosh! i've never heard these things before but they are so so funny! thanks for posting. i'm going to have these printed and posted on my wall. i thought i was the only one that swept the room with a glance! lol. super funny!!
4. "It is easier to get forgiveness than permission" I think I iove my life by this one! :p
5. Very amusing.
6. haha very nice!
7. Awesome! : )
8. nice. never heard of em.
9. yes i have and keep them in my file.thanks for the reminder =]
10. Very good,,,,I might use some later,,,lol
11. excellent list thanks
12. fab list thanks hun they are so funny.
13. You forgot ; I am not as think as stoned that i am.......huh