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I'm worried about my mother who keeps losing her balance and having falls-is it awful to consider a care home?

I don't want to seem like an uncaring person- I've taken her to doctors and run around to X-ray places after she hurts herself, I just don't know what else to do? I've asked her does she want to come to my home, she says she doesn't want to, and I don't even know if that's the answer. She has a walker thing on wheels, but the other night she fell to the floor because it wasn't close enough. My brother lives with her , but obviously can't be there all the time and I'm not able to be there all the time either. Sometimes I just think she'd be better off in a retirement home or something where there's help available all the time, but I don't like to suggest it in case she gets upset.By the way,my mum's 82 years old Any ideas please? I do respect that she would want to stay in her home- it's just so worrying that she might fall any time. I do feel bad even thinking of a home, so I probably couldn't bring it up anyway- just wondered that's all

Public Comments

1. encourage her to take her to the nursing home or wherever else she can be cared for, and say you're doing it for the best of you and her. and she will have better help there.
2. My friend is 82 in June but she has arthritis Her nephew lives with her but she copes, she lives with her cat. But back to you, if she has her own house then say she can go over her neighbours when she needs to (talk to her neighbours about it) Don't put her in a retirment home! PLEASE My friend wants to die in the peace of her own home and I respect that, maybe you should too.
3. It's romantic to believe that we can stay in our own homes until death. Many things happen as we age that make this impossible. You know she's falling, and it would be neglectful to allow it to continue, when there are other options.I know how difficult it is to make this decision. We had to take my 93 yo grandma to a home for the last few months of her life because my mom was too frail to lift her throughout the day and everyone else was at work. That's reality. We went for every meal we could (usually two a day) and my daughters were regular visitors. We didn't abandon her, we made the best decision for her even though it was hard. I know you'll do the right thing.
4. Is she on some sort of medication which may be causing her to feel dizzy or unbalanced? Maybe you could talk with her pharmacist about this issue. There are "assisted-living" homes which you might look into for your mother... but in the alternative, they do have alert programs for the elderly. They wear a device on which they can push a button if they need help. I think it might be called Life Lock? take care and i hope things work out.
5. Another option is to hire someone to come into her home when you brother isn't available. It would give him a break and her someone new to talk with. They don't have to be nurses, just a companion. I have one for my mother, who is 83 and lives with me. I need a couple of days a week to my self, or I might go crazy! She has alzheimers and is blind, so caring for her can be taxing. I promised her years ago that I would never put her in a home, and I'm going to do all I can to keep that promise. No one wants to live in those places. Do what you can to keep her out. Look into having someone come in to sit with her. If you are in the states, medicare might help with the cost. Good Luck EDIT: I don't know where others live, but $23.00 an hour is way out of line. I did pay $15.00 at one time for a trained nurse, but we don't need a nurse, just someone to keep her company. I pay $9.00 an hour - and have someone for 3 - 6 hour days a week. $160.00, well worth it. We go through a Christian organization and they do a background check and drug testing. We don't use Medicare, but I'm pretty sure, if it was medically required, they would assist, it's so much cheaper than a home.
6. I am sorry you are going through this. I don't know about where you live, but where I live, it would cost $23/hr to have someone come to my Mother's house to help care for my step-father. I don't see how anyone can afford that unless they are making a heck of a living. Medicare does NOT help pay for someone to come to the home to assist. Do not base your decision on what others say about what THEY do for their elderly parent, because their situation may be completely different from yours. Base your decision on what is best for you, your family and your mother. If it looks like a nursing home is the only option, then find the very best - and there truly are good ones out there. Please, whatever you decide, do not let the guilt eat you up. And don't listen to others who might criticize you if your mother ends up in a nursing home. People can be so incredibly judgemental about situations. Remember that you love her and are doing what is best for her and what is best for your own situation. This is a very hard time for you. Please email if you need to talk.