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Do you think friends should come first before boyfriends? DETAILS INSIDE!?

Well my best friend got a boyfriend and she spent the entire summer with him and blowing me off sometimes. Its like she can't spend a day with me without bringing her boyfriend along. I feel like I'm her "school friend." During school we would talk and laugh during class but since summer is almost over, I never gotten much chance to hang out with her much. We had plans to go to the beach, zoos, sleepovers, and everything but its all out the window since she started spending 24/7 with her boyfriend. I have a lot of friends but whenever I hang out with my other friends, they always ignore me by talking on the phone or just being with their friends so I'm always the 3rd wheel. When school starts, we're gonna like go over to each others house like before and stuff but what about next summer? I wanna spend a lot of time with her. I made a promise that we'll never drift apart like what happened with my other best friend. She got a boyfriend and we drifted apart. I'm really tired of losing my friend to their boyfriends. I try making plans with them like going shopping or whatever their boyfriend surprises them with something better then they cancel my plan. I need your opinion if she's being a good friend or not. What should I do? I talked to her a few times about how I feel and her answer is always the same "I need more time with him before school starts." Hello? Theres weekends, after schools, and holidays. For pete's sake, he had you ALL SUMMER. Can't you spend just one day from him? That's what I wanted to say but I only choked out "It's ok. I understand. After all, you're with me during school." I was really hurt though. Her ex boyfriend is one of my best guy friends and my best friend understands that. I hung out with him for the whole day cuz I didn't have any plans that day and I had a blast for the first time the whole summer. We took pics, went to the mall, Applebee's and stuff then posted the pics on myspace. When she saw the pics she got upset with me. We talked and she said "When I saw those pics, I felt like he was taking my best friend away from me." My reply was "That's how I felt when you were with your boyfriend the whole summer." All she did was looked down at her feet. So was she right for getting mad at me for being with one of my friends for a day when she been with her boyfriend for the whole summer without knowing how I was feeling? My best friend is 15 and her boyfriend just turned 19 so I guess she obviously doesn't know how to balance her friends and her love life. When I had a boyfriend, I always make time for friends. I never ignored their feelings and stuff cuz I believe it should be "sisters before misters." Don't you agree?

Public Comments

1. your post was too long to read, sorry it doesnt matter. if you hit it off with someone right away, go for it! if not, be friends forst, then stay friends..or go for it! simple as that i swear
2. I think that maybe she needs to get a bf closer to her own age. When young girls date older guys like that they seem to get obsessed with them. Maybe you should just start ignoring her and if she says something then tell her you've been busy.
3. Yes i agree she should be spending time with you tell your friend that you guys and maybe your other friends should have some friendship time
4. I do and don't. I can see both points. On her side, she's found someone new and really want things to work and to get to know the guy. Its all very exciting for her as its like a fresh start ; and she's getting a lot more affection that what you could give her as a friend, so she's after the thrill of that. Its just a phase, and by the sound of when she saw you're photo's, it gave her a knock on the head to know what it feels like ; so by the time school starts again, that'll be you and her time - and then her boyfriend will be feeling like what you have been. So, after school, let them be and him take priority ; but on the other hand, still arrange things properly for you two - set dates for sleepovers, and check with parents etc, so its all booked, and say things like you want a girly night in. And if she protests, find a time more convenient to her, maybe a night he's busy? But then on you're side. Yes, generally friends should come first, friends can last longer than boyfriends in high school ; and it was wrong for her to drop plans with you for him. Unfortunatly, this things have passed so there is nothing you can do about them. Just make sure you have properly planned you back to school activity - and call her to organise it with you so she doesn't double book..and maybe invite other girly friends over so she cant invite her boyfriend. But please remember, your friend is just being a teenager! Aslong as one of you works on you two staying together, through the thick and thin, it should all work out OK. Plus, however selfish she has been, she'll need you when everything goes wrong...and if it was in the reverse situation, would you want her to give up on you? You're obviously a good friend if you're this concerned, so please don't give in on your friendship because of a summer teenage fling.
5. I don't think ur friend is being a good friend. She should not blow u off like that. Friends are definitely more important. She should at least tell her bf that she had plans wiht u first or ask u to come along