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Do you think I am selfish for this?

My b/f and I were walking back from the store earlier talking about stuff the subject came about how he thinks it is wrong that I won't drive to Miami anymore to take him to see his daughter (he can't drive cause his license was revoked). I have had a medical condition that causes me to feel off balance so like when I am driving on the interstate at 80 mph, I get this weird, dizzy, panic attack kind of thing where I feel like my vehicle is going to tip over or roll over...it doesn't just happen once...it happens to me over and over...so I just stay off of the interstate since here at home I can go everywhere I need without getting on there. It is the most horrible feeling ever, because knowing that could happen to me, I am already tense when I start out on the interstate, my heart is in my throat, and my stomach is all in knots and I am totally all white knuckles gripping the steering wheel...I have to concentrate and tell myself over and over that everything will be ok, my car was built to drive and it will not roll over...so I am like driving and giving myself a pep talk the entire way...an hour and half it takes to get to MIami, and I used to drive him there and back alot...but finally one day after almost killing us, I told him NO MORE. So since then he has taken the train down to get her when she was visiting...it only takes like half an hour longer, but its WAY cheaper and I don't have to suffer with this problem of mine the entire way...it is down right FEAR for me. So he brings up that it is wrong that I won't go through that so he can visit his daughter, my comment was that I am not risking three people's lives just to go down there so they can visit. He seems to feel that I should be willing to go through that for him and for her...and I told him I am not willing to go through that anymore...and he said that means I was telling him his daughter wasn't important...I never said that...never....I am just not going to kill myself for her, you know what, I have a child who needs me too and since there is alternate and safe transportation down there...why should he expect me to suffer panic attacks the entire way. So he is angry at me over this, am I wrong to not be willing to risk our lives and other ppl's lives on the interstate like that? Should I make an exception because that is his daughter, and am I wrong to consider my own son needs me? He tries to make me feel selfish but I think he is being selfish.

Public Comments

1. leave him, say that youre making excuses jst to be angry with me
2. no he's wrong for making you feel guilty about this. you shouldn't be put in this kind of situation if he knows its not healthy for you to be driving, that should be enough and he shouldn't pressure you to do something that could put your life in danger. tell him he needs to find other ways to get to go and visit his daughter, that's NOT your responsibility.
3. map out routes that aren't highways that you're not comfortable with. You're not selfish...just safe.
4. He's an insufferable BOAR! What an @$$ to lay such a guilt trip on you! Oh...and you could remind him that if he wasn't such a complete f*ck-up as to get his license REVOKED this would be a non-issue. If he's not happy with taking the train then tell him to walk. What a jerk!
5. You are having a panic attack and once you have one you dont want to do whatever you were doing at the time again. HE is being selfish for not understanding your pain. If he wants to go see his daughter so bad tell him to quit messing up so he doesnt get his drivers license taken away. Its not your fault he messed up. You do what you have to do and if you feel better later, maybe you can take him but until then he is SOL...tell him to TAKE A BUS!
6. He's a baby. Tell him to "Man-up" and deal with his transportation issues himself.
7. You are wasting time worrying about this. You have done all you can. You cannot be expected to do more. It is not your responsibility. Let him accept responsibility for his own problems and you accept responsibility for your. The fact that he is making you so crazy over something that seems obvious to others, makes me think he is verbally, mentally or physically abusive to you. Worry about yourself and your child. Forget him. He sounds like a looser and you sound like a winner without him!
8. Good Heavens no, you are not being selfish, you are being safe and sensible. Stick to your guns Hon, it's what you have to do. This b/f of yours is the one who is being selfish. Besides, this is not your child, it's his, and he needs to understand that you have no responsibility to that child until there is a wedding with you as the bride and he is the groom. And then it would still be dangerous. Who is footing the bill for the gas and food and everything for these trips? If you are, then you can bet he's just taking you for a ride and doesn't like paying for his responsibilities. If he can't understand this you would be best to find someone new.
9. You are in NO way selfish, you are thinking very rationally & you're absolutely rite in being safe. In fact, I would tell him he is the fool to take his child's life & put it in jeopardy. God forbid you have an accident & hurt those in your car & risk how many others on the road too. You know how you feel & you're thinking like someone who has a brain in their head. Do NOT listen to him. IF you are just having anxiety attacks, if I were you I'd go to my family Dr. & explain to him/her about these attacks. I use to have them too, so believe me I know what you mean. Since I told my Dr., he put me on a medication & they are completely gone. So if you can, please don't suffer if you don't have to, go to your Dr. for help. Something you might want to try that might be of help would be to take as deep a breath as you can. Let it out very slowly to the count of 10. Try doing this a few times & it just might help you. Try it at home if you feel an attack coming on, or just try it & see if it does relax you to a degree. I use to do this too, & it did help. But on the other issue, just ignore him or tell him you don't want him to mention it to you again. You're NOT going to take a chance of hurting anyone, & nothing he says is going to chg. your mind. That's it & case closed. Please do see your Dr. if you can tho to get rid of this horrible feeling once & for all. I KNOW how you feel & you're totally helpless. I had a thing about standing in lines at stores & just couldn't do it. I always had to take someone w/me in case I had an attack & had to leave the store. Now I no longer have that problem & am SO grateful. You take care of you...:)
10. I can't even answer. It's way too long.