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How do you like this plot?

So I am trying to write a book, and here is the plot. Tell me what you think. =] Tagline- what if every thought, every emotion, every second of your life, was planned hundreds of years ago? Its about a girl, Alex, whose family is very politically involved. Her uncle (mother's brother) is the president, and her father, who is best friends with the uncle, is the vice president. Her aunt and uncle have a daughter who is her age, Alice. They are about 23-25. One morning, while coming home after a jog, she turns on the news and finds that her aunt, uncle, and cousin's car was blown up by a bomb. She finds several messages on her phone, and, after talking with her father, heads to the hospital. Alice survived, and is about to head into surgery. She refuses to go until she talks to Alex. Both girls were given identical antique jewelry boxes that had secret compartments when they were young. Alice tells Alex to look open one of them when she is sure that she is alone. Alice is wheeled off into surgery. Now alone in the bathroom at the hospital, Alex tries to open the compartments. One of the larger opens to reveal a letter from Alice. It says that They no longer had any use for her father, and that he was beginning to discover Their secret. They were responsible for the car bomb. On a second page, it explains who They are. Many years ago, in the time of the founding fathers, they realized that They could not trust the future of Their country to anyone. They decided to create several controlled enviroments where They could control how a person turned out (personality, intelligence, political views, etc.) Through this, They created several great leaders. They decided to employ this technique upon the rest of the world, basically deciding the future of the world for several hundred years through carefully planned linked events. It took many years for their control to spread. but after a while, They could basically control your thoughts without even trying, because every tiny event in your life had already been planned. In our time, They were becoming corrupt, and had plans to use Their plannd events to create what they consider to be a perfect world.They make everything happen, which is way, in a 6 degrees of seperation kind of way, every single person plays an imortant role. They even creat terrorists to challenge world leaders, to balance out the world. They have begun to believe that They are gods. It is up to Alex to find where they are and to take them down. Ever wondered why missing children are never found? Why people randomly dissapear off the streets? Its because they have been bred to become one of Them, to be the ultimate rulers, and they are taken away to make sure everything happens how its supposed to, and to create more plans for the future. This is the ultimate conspiracy. So, give me your opinion and any sughestions, and if, once I write it out, if it could ge published. Oh, in the beginning, the small, contrlled fake cities (enviroments) were to create perfect rulers. can't remember if I said that already. Adult writing is MUCH different from what I am writing.

Public Comments

1. It sounds really intriguing, make sure you write it good and it will be excellent :) good luck it sounds really good! :)
2. Its an interesting idea. The problem is that if they really controlled everything then no one would ever become suspicious. I see elements of the matrix (and another movie I think is called dark world). You would need to come up with convincing ways they are able to control people. I would suggest writing more like the bourne movies(i need to read those). With the main character(s) on the lamb from the whole world. As for publishing, who knows? I write stories for an adult site I run, so I get my stories "published" as soon as I click post. If you are curious you can get to my homepage from my profile and link to the adult site there IF you are old enough. I take the 18 or over thing seriously. But they still follow structure, plot and process. I write stories that happen to have adult content for my site. As for the why behind the site, its estimated 90% of the money spent on the web is on the adult industry, i want a slice of that multi-billion dollar pie. Writing comes natural to me so it was an easy way to create unique content in a competitive market. Do not presume to know anything about my writing or me. I was giving an example of how finding a publisher may not be your only option. You can start a website, or submit your story(ies) to a site that does web publishing. A blog is also a good way to get exposure before sending to a publisher, if you have a fan base before you send in the book it would help your chances.
3. I have to admit the story is very intriguing. It does have so many elements from various books as well as movies and television series. You will have to explain the 'They' and 'Them' and how they handle the rogue individuals? And yeah the whole keeping track of everyone's future (to me) would me they have 'super human' capabilities, some type of device to monitor the world. And ultimately the note would have to be from someone on the inside feeding Alice and Alex. They would need that insider to continue to lead them closer and closer to solution. I love intrigue. You have a great idea, hope it comes to fruition for you. J...