Success Happy

I feel like wont an addiction free life more than my wife please help!!?

My wife is working on overcoming a sleeping pill addiction need advise. I told her that I wonted a divorce that I could no longer live with the lye and deception. She told me she would do anything to keep me. I told her I wonted her to go to a 30day rehab program she agreed. We set up a meeting with her therapist for later that day. The therapist did not think that she would qualify because she was not currently using and that her problem was not to that level. I said the I would like her to do an out patient program and make some big life changes and relay work on this addiction problem. She said she should start going to 12 steps AA meeting. So my wife stated this she has been going for two weeks 3 meeting a week I wonted her to do 90-90 but after the next therapy session with her therapist she said that in our rural are it is nearly imposable to go to that many meeting that 3 meeting a week would problem be enough. She also thinks that I am trying to hard that I just need to back of my wife and let her do what she feels she needs to do. I wont this to be the most important thing she has ever done I don’t feel that we can get on with our life until this is delt with. I don’t wont to be with her if I cant trust. I feel that is the bases for a successful marriage. Her therapist thinks I am way off the mark and she has been telling my wife that I am to involve in the process and need to back off. I think that the therapist treatment isn’t the most beneficial for the process (she is using unconditional positive regard) due to the relapse that my wife has had. How do I deal with? Is it OK to question what she is doing? I don’t feel that my wife is giving it her all. How do I find the balance of pushing to get results and giving up and walking away? Have you ever been hear? What are your experiences? I am frustrated, confused and tired any advice would be nice During this time she has been going to the same concaler, I have had regular conversation with this therapist about what has been going on. In December when she was abusing the pain killer I wonted to send her to a 30 day rehab program but she did not agree for 2 reasons because all the pills were gone, and because she didn’t feel that it was that big of a problem “just a little slip up”. In the process of this recovery my wife has made me a list of thing she would do to improve our life and get it back on track on of witch would be to finish her resume and apply for a few jobs (She is currently work as a privet preschool teacher but with no benefits so I would like her to get a public school job). Well she fished her resume and cover letter and sent it to my sister in-law to correct and it was all stolen off the net. This was the last straw for me I confronted her about it and she showed her who she had copied it from on the internet she still denned that she had copied it. in december she o/d

Public Comments

1. Take a vacation . Life will look better to you in six months. Cheers .You don't need to be single the rest of your life just for this.
2. Honestly, it doesn't sound like she's really ready to face facts and quit. She can't quit for anyone but herself. She has to want to. The only thing you can really do is encourage her to go to rehab, NA meetings, and work with her councilor. If she continues what she's doing, than you need to decide if it's worth it to you to stay with her.
3. did she always have sleeping problems and you just found out about this? People have phsycological and well as physical problems that their spouses are not the best one to determine what those needs are if she only takes em for the feeling like euphoria than you may be validated but if her needs are genuine and shes suffering from anxiety and needs help and possibly meds if shes not abusing them why are you so hung up on preventing her from medication? Right now support her and treat her like shes your right arm you are one body dont tie it up and wrap it around your back. If your spiritually inclined ask for guidance on this there is always a way to work on this together she needs a friend you
4. I'm not a therapist, but I do know more than a little about life and addiction. I have a hard time believing that as a concerned husband that you could be "too involved" in your wifes recovery.There is a fine line between support and pressure for the addict. It's likely that your wife feels that you are putting too much pressure on her. Which is the addiction talking. Even encouragement will seem like pressure to an addict. I think your outlook for your wife is encouraging and Your expectations are not that unrealistic. However, the 3 meetings a week, considering you are in a rural area, is likely the best that you/your wife can get right now. You did not say how long her addiction has been a part of your lives. But obviously long enough that you have reached a point where you feel you must make a choice for yourself. Recovery does need to be the most important thing she ever does, giving any less than her all ,she is robbing herself of a bright, healthy future. How do you find the balance between pushing for results and giving up and walking away? -Attend meetings yourself. Addiction doesn't stop with the addict. It affects the family, friends, etc. Support groups are available and they will help you cope with your role (and yes sadly you will see that you have a role) in your wifes illness. You will find that a support group will not only help you, but help you to help your wife. And in all honesty, should you decide to give up and walk away from her ...You will still need that help. So do that today. Not sure where to look for meetings? Check the phone book, or call a therapist and ask if they know of local meetings. If no meetings are available, please make an appointment with a therapist for yourself. Don't give up on your wife. Addiction is an illness and you must ask yourself : Would you walk away if she had another illness such as cancer? Hang in there. You will find a strength that you didn't realize you had -and you will be ok. I'll be thinking of you. (forgive my spelling-spellcheck isn't workin :(