Success Happy

what you think of this story so far (isnt long)?

As night crept in and as day flew out a mysterious fog settled on the trees of Oak Park engulfing life and its self leaving nothing untouched of its power and utter terror. Tracing through the chocking fog and leaving me blinded I carried on until I could go on no more, where was I? The branches off the lifeless tree’s twisted and crackled, the earth turned to dust underneath my very own feet and the hurl of the wind broke my balance forcing me to the ground. Where all my childhood happiness and memories could be found can be found no more here at Oak Park, it was coming to get me. But why? I gathered myself up battling against the wind grabbing onto the loose bark of the helpless tree’s which were being battered and bruised by the wind just like a child would in a strong current. The suffocating fog rose ever so slightly just enough for me to see where I was heading to. The beautiful pond which ducks swam upon changed into a monstrous marsh with an overwhelming smell of rotting undergrowth and where I would play by the big oak was now a cold and heartless place. Fear flooded my body overwhelming me, a tear came to my eye, is this the last place ill see, this horrid place? havent finished it yet just want to see what people think it for english

Public Comments

1. I think it is good and will inprove when you write more. If you can help me I'm wanting to write a book and need ideas. You also use good words and phrases.
2. brilliant! :D http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100202121619AAraXBr Can anyone answer my question? Thanks x