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what can I do when I feel being cheated in my marriage and now I love another girl?

i was married about 9 years ago. it was the so called indian "arranged marriage". my parents first went and seen the girl and went to see the girl and it was all determined by the parents. i could come to know only after my marriage that the girl is having a problem with her one leg which was operated in her young age and it became shorter. i didnt mind as i thought it was fate and it was a mistake on my parents as well. later the girl kept on saying that my parents were knowiing about this even before marriage. she was acting very quarrelsome and i got frustrated by her repeated statements and i took her to my parents and asked them in her presence. my parents told me that they were ready to promise in a temple to asertain that they were not aware of this. i wanted to divorce her because of her being very much irritated even for small issues but was compromising for the honor of family. it went on for another year and finally i took the issue to her parents and they said sorry for hiding and concealing the matter. i said i wanted compensation for being cheated. they promised me a house in return. i never asked for it later as i was actually not interested in getting money from any one that way. but she kept on shouting and quarreling. she used not to take bath even after mid-day. i was being from traditional family tried to convince her to take bath atleast by 8 am in the morning. she would quarrel even if mention how she can be with me. she never used to take compelete shower and small mites used to be spread all through her head. it took lot of time for me to convince her and after many fights, she started taking complete showers (as it is called "head bath" in india) but only once in a week. to my utter dissatisfaction, we always stayed separate in two different rooms. As i started threatening her of divorce , she rarely allowed me to her room, and we had two children after that. i became very frustrated by her hostile behavior. she never could talk good of my family members though they never had to interact with her. her elder sister stays separately though her in-laws stay in the same town and my wife gets all advices from her and tries to follow the way her elder sister behaves. my father-in-law had to distribute his property as my other two "co-brothers" pressurised him to do so. he gave lions shares to them and he gave to my wife only a piece of 200 2qyard land which costs only 50k inr. i never know where the property is there. i felt being cheated repeatedly as his earlier promise of giving me a house in compensation never happened! my co-brothers were successful only in making my father-in-law a pauper. he wasted all his property by investing in stock market (despite the fact that he does know nothing about it) and giving fringe loans to petty people. i thought my wife would change if i help him and so i started giving money to him. i gave him over one lakh rupees and my wife would be good with me. this i felt very bad that despite my repeated financial help to her parents, she could not make me happy. i stayed in a company township and because of her quarrlesome behavior with me, i felt shamed in the closed community and she never allowed me to take proper rest after my night shift work and i had to take pain killers to sustain the week long night shifts. finally i decided to quit my job and joined mba. i got some relief as i stayed separate from her as i was in college hostel. meanwhile i met a girl who is deaf and is physically handicapped as well. but she was very cordial and soft spoken. before joining mba in a college, i asked my wife to be with my parents as they are heptagenarians and they really need somebody to take of them and they would be very happy if their daughter-in-law and their grand children are with them while i am in the college. but she became furious about this and she said she would stay only her parents. i accepted and paid my in-laws 6000 rupees a month for their maintenance in addition to the money i gave to them whenever i went there to see them every week. i took care of the cost of education of my children as well. despite of all my efforts, she never tried to change. in the second year of my mba, my wife said herself that she would stay with my parents. i sent her to there. but again she became a big problem for my parents. my mother who is an epileptic patient, got too much disturbed by this lady and her health further deteriorated. meanwhile , i came very close to the girl i am interested now and started liking her for her good behavior and sincerity. i am now wish to have my life back. i wish now to be happy atleast now. i wish to live this girl. she too is very much liked me. please advice me, how can i get back my happy life. i became very introvert and inactive because of my wife. i want my life. but getting divorce is not so easy, as i know, in india please advice me i think i will become mad if i have to stay with my wife again.

Public Comments

1. Wow, what a wall of text. You need to learn how to summarise, my friend.
2. She is the one getting cheated here. You were supposed to love her. Hell your only conserned with yourself. I think you are a discusting pig for treating another human being that way. Karma baby, I see your thing shriveling up and falling off. I hope she finds love with another. Wa, Wa, Wa, I didn't get enough land and money.
3. Did you ever consider what she must be going through. You sound like a selfish pig. you know its the 21st century right. how about you grow a pair and treat her like a woman not a slave. you are so pathetic.
4. I could'nt read you whole book because I have a life but your unhappy so.............leave! If it was an arranged marriage you can't be forced to love her.
5. Allow yu wife to live her life accroding to her wish.At the same time if yu really interested to marry the deaf girl i appreciate and go for it.But at the same time yu better do not give divorce for the sake of yu children and yu can marry the deaf girl and live separately without yu wife knowledge.In this way yu wife will come to sense and realise her mistake soon.Do no go for divorce as it is a head ache.
6. NINE YEARS --- A LIFE OF HELL AS PROJECTED BY YOU . TWO CHILDREN WITH A PERSON WHOM YOU THINK WHO HAS FAILED MISERABLY IN DISCHARGING HER DUTIES . ( I DONT WANT TO USE STRONG WORDS , WHY THE HELL PEOPLE BEGET CHILDREN WHEN THEY VERY WELL KNOW THAT THEY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THEIR SPOUSE ) I CAN UNDERSTANDYOUR PAIN WHEN YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW GAVE MORE PROPERTY TO OTHER SON-IN-LAWS . I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN . EVEN FROM THE VERY BEGINNING I THINK YOUR MARRIAGE LIFE WAS NEVER GOOD BECAUSE YOUR WIFE HAS STARTED HER NEW LIFE WITH A LIE . I TRUST YOU . BUT FOR THIS ASKING A HOUSE IS ABSOLUTELY STUPIDITY . THINK THAT FOR THIS STUPIDITY YOU HAVE PAID A FINE OF MORE THAN A LAKH TO YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW . IF YOU WANT TO GET DIVORCE , WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR CHILDREN , ARE THEY READY TO FACE THE MUSIC THAT YOU GET TO HEAR FROM THE INDIAN COURTS . ARE THEY ENOUGH BIG TO SURVIVE WITHOUT ONE MEMBER OF THEIR PARENTS . THINK ABOUT ALL THESE THINGS . ARE YOU ENOUGH RICH TO GIVE COMPENSATION AND MAINTENANCE TO YOUR WIFE IF THE COURT ASKS YOU TO DO SO . MY QUICK SUGGESTIONS : DO NOT STAY IN YOUR HOUSE FOR A LONG TIME , AVOID SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR WIFE . GO AND MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND GO TO CINEMAS . GO BACK TO YOUR COLLEGE LIFE AND START LIVING A CARE-FREE LIFE . SPEND SOME OF YOUR TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN ALSO . SEE THE FACES OF YOUR CHILDREN AND TRY TO BE HAPPY IN LIFE . DONT YOU THINK YOU HAVE SOME COMMITMENT TOWARDS YOUR CHILDREN ALSO . FRIEND , SPEND SOME CONSIDERABLE TIME FOR YOUR CHILDREN . BUT I DO ACCEPT THAT YOU CAN LOOK FOR LOVE OUTSIDE AFTER ALL YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING BUT BEFORE DOING THIS THINK ABOUT THE IMPACTS THAT THIS WILL HAVE ON YOUR CHILDREN . BYE . I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU .
7. Make is short dude. Who the hell will read this much info??
8. You have spent 9 years with her and you have 2 children. Now you wants to divorce her to live a life with other girl ! You may have some problems with your wife but that is not sufficient enough to ask for a divorce,after all you are a father of two child and you should more concerned about their life rather than your own likes and dislikes. Stick to your life partner and try to sort out your problems with love and forgivness.