Success Happy - Can I be a good mom AND work full-time?

Can I be a good mom AND work full-time?

Hello everyone! My husband and I are expecting our first baby (a girl) on or around May 1. I will be on paid maternity leave for 6-8 weeks and then using 6 weeks of my vacation time on top of that for a total of about 3 months home with our new baby girl. I'm struggling with wanting to be a SAHM and also wanting to work. I'm the primary breadwinner in our home and I love my job. My husband has a great job too. We have considered relocating from Virginia to FL or NC (where cost of living is lower) to be able to afford for me to stay at home. With the state of the economy, there's no way I'd feel comfortable giving up my job and I am not even sure I am the type of woman who wants to stay home! My question is, can I be a good mother and still work full time? (My mom didn't start working until my youngest brother started school). I'm afraid of my baby girl growing more attached to her nanny than to me. My job is completely flexible as well. I can choose to work from home whenever I want and my employer stands behind a good work-life balance. Has anyone else struggled with this? What did you decide to do? Thanks! =) Thanks. I appreciated the inputs from (almost) everyone. Since this is my first child, I've never had to think about this before! I don't want a stranger to raise her, but I also want to make sure we can always provide for her.

Public Comments

The short answer is yes, you can be a good mom and work full time.
my mom works full time. and she's a good mom although, im hardly a newborn. we dont need a tenth of the attention and care someone younger needs. me and my brother are both over 20. we're at the age where we could possibly live alone and are capable of caring for ourselves.and wont drink the stuff under the sink when she's not home
yes, i think so...just don't bring home work...
What kind of question is that? There are hundreds of thousands (including myself) of working mom's. This isn'tt the fifties where women weren't expected to work. Of course you can be a wonderful mother and still do your job. Doubting this will only lead to further issues for you and your child.
Ofcourse you can. I am a mom of two and work full time. you will need the rest in the beginning. but after 3 months of sahm...you will be ready to return to work.
My grandma had seven kids and had to work because her husband was ill. All of my dad's siblings said they felt loved and that is was a good role model for them to see grandma working so hard. But at the same time do you really want a stranger to raise your child? If your job allows you to work from home then I would say do that. There is nothing greater then being a SAHM. The first 5 years are the formative years this is when you need to be with your kids the most. This isn't to say working mom's aren't good moms. But if you can afford to do it I think its the better choice for the children.
My Mom has worked since shortly after I was born. She's a single Mom, and still works hard everday although Im old enough that I don't need someone to watch me all the time. Right down to it - she has been an awesome Mom since the beginning. I think it's very possible, especially if you have such a good job and one that offers such flexibility.
yes you can, having a job is for a reason so you can provide for your family and give your daughter what she needs, theres nothing wrong with that. you are able to spend the first few months with her which is good. im personally a stay at home mum to my 7 week old daughter while her dad works and i love it, i couldnt imagine leaving her to go to work every day but everyone lives their life differently. its your life and how you want to live it is up to you. as long as you spend time with her and do what mothers should do then you are being the best mum you can. besides you will be greatful for the break, as i would appreciate a regular break but its all part of the package. do what feels right to you. also youre best waiting until your baby is here to decide properly as after the birth everything changes. good luck.
Well first I want to say that this would have been a much better question "before" you got pregnant, but it's too late for that. I would say that when they are tiny babies like that they need their mother for the first year anyway. I realize it's not always do-able, but it is pretty important. Is the child going to be with daddy or a family member? Because that is the only way i would say to consider it. Never leave your baby with a stranger until they can at least talk and tell you if anything is wrong. If you have an option to work at home, I would jump at it as fast as you can. Unless of course daddy can be with her while you are at work. Trust me, I have 4 children and you will miss alot, especially the first year and you will always wish you hadn't. You may have to cut back on some of your expenses, but that is what having children is all about, sacrifice!! Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you all. Congratulations on the baby girl. (and let me just add that girls are WAY tougher than boys to raise, I have 2 of each. YIKES!!!) So be prepared.
if you know you are not the type of person that can not stay home then dont. you can be an effective mom working full time. it just requires a little more work. and no your child will not become more attached to the nanny unless you never see your child. you need to be happy so your family can be happy. take care yourself first before you can take care of others.
sure thats wut wut my mom has done her whole life and shes done most things right wit me 8] u can do it! if u put ur mind to it
Yes, without a doubt. My mother raised 3 boys (not to mention all aunts and uncles and everyone else I've known with kids who worked full time--it's life, reality--unless you're Rich! haha) and both my parents worked full time and I'm sure your child will never get more attached to the nanny/sitter/others than you...she is literally part of you , your DNA, and things you're prob not aware of.. but it might be a good idea to do research on parenting. I know nothing about the subject from experience, but I'm sure there are numerous books, PARENT Magazine I've seen in the stores, and offices, etc..magazines and specific websites for parents, etc, not to mention shows on TV prob everyday that deal with parenting issues. You can never get too much info on parenting I'd guess. good luck and congrads..
you will and you can try
YES . I work full time and I am a damn good mother . I am due for #2 in October and I as well will be taking 3 months off with my kids . I did that with my son to . In this day and age I believe to survive BOTH parents need to work . although was also a single mommy till about 6 months ago so I had to .But I wouldn't change a thing Also you said you could work from home? Why not do that part time ?
Look at it this way. Would you get hired for a job and then not show up? No? Then why would you consider not showing up for your job of mother? Why is it all about you? The entire future emotional foundation of a life is laid in the first three years. Why should it be about you? You can have a lower standard of living for a few years. It won't kill you. And the baby won't know the difference.
Yes I think you can. It depends on person to person. If you can pull out then I think you should. My mom was working mom. Yeah for sure we used to miss her and wanted to spend more time. But then we wouldnot get all the luxury things... But I think your daugther will be more independent. Also I suggest if you will go back then you have to make sure that when you actually spend time with your daugther it is a quality time. But you have to be extra strong. Also in your case ecconomy is bad so you have to make a balanced decesion. Not too practical nor too emotional. Also if your job is very flexible then why do you worry that much. I think you are lucky in that way. You shouldnot give up your job that easily. You and your husband has to give time to baby togther.. Be strong everything will work it out... let us know how it is going