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Relationship between two people with Borderline Personality Disorder?

Do you think a relationship, or even just a friendship, could be successful between two people who both suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder? Or any other personality disorder, for that matter? I wonder if these two people can get along, because maybe they can understand each other, or if it's more likely that when one "flips out," that it's over for good. What do you think?

Public Comments

1. I don't normally work with couples, but I do have one real life experience I observed where two people with BPD were involved romantically. It actually lasted several years. One thing I noted was that they hit it off really fast and it was a bit of a whirlwind relationship. They became engaged within 4 months, and were highly "enmeshed" with each other. They almost never left each others side. After about 2-3 years though, it started to unravel. The man's temper had been a problem for a while, and the woman was pretty unstable emotionally. They would have terrible arguments and started manipulating each other. The man would get mad and demand the engagement ring back, the woman would throw it at him. The guy would feign being suicidal, the girl try to manipulate other people to siding with her when really it was a two-way street. They never hit each other but would have pretty bad fights that came close. Ultimately it took a long time for them to finally separate and declare they were no longer together, and it took both a while to get over it. It's hard to say objectively how much BPD played a role in their relationship, but it is a disorder that has a greater effect on relationships than most other personality disorders. They certainly "clicked" very well at first due to how well they understood each other. But many elements of it seemed toxic from the start. Sometimes when you have two people with the same disorder, they can be "enablers" to each other, justifying maladaptive behavior and making it seen normal, thereby encouraging more of it.