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proofread my essay on stress?

This is for a 10th grade living skills paper. its not done, but tell me what you think Teen Stress Stress is a subjective entity, elusive to both scientists and researchers alike. Like all other things in life, people need just the right amount of stress to be productive, successful, happy human beings. Should one have too much stress or too little, one may ultimately end in destruction, for stress is like a tightrope. Too tight and one may trip and fall, or too loose and one may slip and drop. For example, Thomas Chatterberton (1), renowned English poet, suicides when his life became too stressful to bear. We will explore the effects of stress in comprehensive detail within the articles below. First let us view some articles of scientific origins. Medecinenet.com (2) suggests that stress or “This interplay of forces, or energy, is of course present in the relationships between all matter in the universe (2)”. In simplified terms, this means that the stress in your body interacts with the world. This is most undoubtedly true; however, one may wonder how to use this information to better deal with stress. Fortunately, Medecinenet.com (2) does not keep us hanging. “Therefore, external changes in the environment or external forces that change the internal balance must be reacted to and compensated for if the organism is to survive (2)”. This archaic passage tells that in order for us humans to survive, we must have just the right amount of stress to balance with “external forces” (which one may guess to be an incoming car, gunshot, or any other sign of imminent danger and destruction). To apply this to our modern lives, we should accept stress wholeheartedly into our lives if we are about to be run over by a car. Now, I will list my personal solutions to stress. While these may not be the result of intense scientific scrutiny, it may be more relevant nonetheless as I myself am a able teenager with firsthand experience in the field of study. I am also able to convey my results and solutions in English understandable to the scholarly high school student and without “grown-up” bias. So In the case that one may find them self at stress, then it is suggested that one -go to the kitchen and eat some food -play some video games -have a family talk with your parents -seek professional advice and help from the nearest school It should also be noted that illegal drugs such as marijuana (otherwise known as “pot”, “weed”, or “the stuff”), cocaine (or coke), and other shady substances may or may not reduce stress; however, these substances are scientifically proven to cause ailments of great detriment including: death, tooth-loss, loss of brain cells and increased hunger. It is advised to the utmost urgency that one not engage in such substances lest one’s life “ultimately lead to destruction”. Although I agree that such practices may, in reality, be unwise acts to participate in, I still feel that those who do such things should not be repressed, and instead, should be able to practice their lifestyle choices outside of prison. Smoking marijuana is not destructive, it isn’t even harmful to others. Bibiliography 1. "Thomas Chatterton." NNDB: Tracking the Entire World. Web. 23 Sept. 2010. <http://www.nndb.com/people/815/000104503/>. 2. http://www.medicinenet.com/stress/article.htm

Public Comments

1. I like it.
2. Sophomore in HS - This is not an essay that flows and it reeks of missing quotes around sentences you did not write. You have strung together some nice sounding sentences. That do not make or prove a point. LOL - "I am also able to convey my results and solutions in English understandable to the scholarly high school student and without “grown-up” bias. " That entire paragraph is a funny mystery to me. Maybe I am over critical at my age. Figure out what you are trying to say.